Feeling decidedly unsexy after all that eating and drinking and no sleep?

Get your mojo back with these easy, efficient sex hacks that are low-effort but high result.

Put clothes on rather than take them off

Semi-naked is more erotic than fully undressed when you’ve been together a while.

Adding items you know ‘do it’ for your partner – a pair of heels, sexy knickers, him taking his his shirt off but leaving his jeans on – send an instant message to the brain: I’m about to have sex.

This releases the sex and love hormones that speed arousal.

Release your dark side

Confessing you want to try something quite out there – something you don’t even confess to your closest friends – shows your partner you trust them absolutely.

It also means you have a secret and secrets are undeniably sexy.

Planning to do something you’ve always longed to for the first time, that’s a little (or a lot) out there, is highly exciting and brilliant for jolting you out of that tired routine.

Ban intercourse for a month

Instead of having a full course meal every time you have sex – kissing, foreplay, using fingers and tongues and then penetration - limit sexual activities.

Have a month without intercourse: it’ll make you far more inventive with everything else plus it takes the pressure off him if he’s worrying needlessly over wobbly erections.

Next month, ban oral sex to push yourselves out of only using the two to three sex positions most couples use continually.

Denying sexual acts also gets around the whole ‘I no longer want sex because it’s on tap’ problem.

就爱加速器官方下载

Everything you both want to try between now and when you die: we do it for travel, we do it for other experiences, why not for sex?

Having a ready-made list makes couples far more adventurous.

Come up with the bucket list when you’re feeling creative and when you’re not, all the hard work – coming up with new things – has already been done.

Get fruity

A US You Tube sex commentator (Auntie Angel) has come up with a sex technique that reportedly results in the most intense orgasms he’ll ever experience.

All you need is...a grapefruit.

Yes really.

Chop off both sides of the grapefruit so you’re left with the centre portion then cut a whole around the same size as your partner’s penis and slide the slice over it until it sits at the base.

You then give him oral sex, sliding the grapefruit slice up and down with your fingers while you do it.

The strangest thing you’ve ever heard?

Devotees claim it feels great for him because it feels more ‘natural’ than a hand does.

Worth a try: give it a whirl and report back!

Have sex at a different time of the day

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Long, slow sessions are great but so are short, fast quickies: mix it up to keep things sparky.

Do the same with techniques: go super slow for a few beats, then speed it up, then slow it down.

It ups the anticipation factor, again taking you out of the same old sex format.

Hack your hand-job

If he looks distinctly unimpressed when you give him a hand-job, this simple trick will usually fix it.

Get him to show you where and how he puts his hands to start with when he masturbates himself.

Men masturbate regularly and nearly always in the same way, so if you place your hands in exactly the right place on his penis and mirror his technique, you really can’t go wrong.

Some guys like a loose fist, others grab quite high up with a thumb and forefinger or a thumb and four fingers: all techniques feel very different.

Add a blindfold

We’re so fixated on looking good during sex, it’s easy to get paranoid or distracted.

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92就爱加速

Having sex on a chair (preferably one without sides) transforms boring positions into something sassy and new.

He sits on it, you climb on top; you rest your forearms on it, he penetrates from behind.

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Wear socks to bed

The irony!

The biggest turn-off for most women – men wearing socks during sex - has been scientifically proven to improve orgasm.

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But ditch your heels

Studies show a certain height of heels tips the woman’s pelvis to the same angle as when she orgasms.

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This might sound delicious but in fact isn’t because it lessens the sensation of a real orgasm.

If your heels are already creating a contraction in the pelvic floor, it can’t contract further during orgasm and the whole experience feels weakened.

Sext from the other room

He’s up early and you’re still in bed?

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Three hacks to help you climax

92加速官网 if you’re desperately, desperately trying to push yourself over the edge, you’re not relaxed.

Instead, lie back and focus on simply enjoying the experience: you’re far more likely to stay in the moment that way and make orgasm happen naturally.

Switch stimulation: If it’s not happening during oral sex, switch to using fingers. If it’s not happening during intercourse, switch to oral sex.

It’s easy to over-stimulate so nerve endings feel numb: switching stimulation sorts that out in a flash.

Grab your vibrator: If all else fails, grab your vibrator and either use it on yourself while he watches or let him take control.

Visit traceycox.com for more practical sex advice and to see the full range of her products.

You open the door, expecting carol singers, and there they are.

Your longed-for ex is standing right in front of you.

This isn’t a scene from 92就爱加速 but it should be because Christmas is often when lonely exes regret splitting up.

Christmas loves couples, families, love and togetherness.

Christmas isn’t kind to singles, orphans and those who don’t have someone to watch cheesy movies with.

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It’s terribly romantic at the time especially if you’re feeling lonely too.

Not quite so romantic when January comes around, everyone’s back at work and suddenly your ex isn’t so needy or lonely…or around.

‘You’re the love of my life’ turns back into the more familiar ‘I’m not sure about this’ and that ‘one last try’ has simply broken your heart one more time.

It’s an all too familiar scenario for lots of people but what if the opposite were true: your ex was for real and you did end up living happily ever after?

Isn’t it worth taking a risk if you loved or love them still?

Yes – but only under certain circumstances.

Here’s seven damn good reasons to take a deep breath and go for it – and nine scenarios that should have you running for the hills!

BREAK OUT THE EGG NOG: IT’S WORTH ANOTHER TRY

You dumped them and realise you made a horrible mistake.

Hindsight is 20/20 vision and it’s often not until someone’s gone, that you realise how special they really were.

If no-one’s come close to being half as nice, kind, sexy, gorgeous, clever (and whatever else you valued about them), you’ll be kicking yourself for a long time afterward.

If this is you and they give into an urge to call at Christmas, go for it!

In fact, if they don’t turn up at your door, turn up at theirs to take full advantage of that big, open Christmas heart to beg forgiveness.

You broke up for a reason and that reason has now gone or been fixed.

You can make a sensible assessment of your chances of success by looking at the reasons why you split in the first place.

If you separated because of outside stresses – their job demanded too much time, they had family issues to sort out, someone close to them died and they lost perspective – it’s worth going back if the situation has now been resolved.

Stress affects people’s ability to think clearly and make good decisions.

If they’ve sorted out whatever was stopping them committing to you, it could have a chance of succeeding.

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Arriving on your doorstep saying sorry is great, but unless they’ll sit down and talk about why you split, forget it.

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 If they’re still flaky, avoiding your eye and dodging questions, wish them Merry Christmas and send them on their way.

You don’t expect miracles.

People change but it’s rare.

They might promise a personality change but it’s more likely to be a personality tweak.

If you don’t really like or don’t want to live with who they essentially are, it’s not worth it.

All couples have issues and most fight about the same old things, time and time again.

If you were together a while, you’ll have an idea of what yours will be.

Can you live with them? Can they?

You’re fine with what made you break up.

I’m not saying you’d accept it if they did it again but do you understand why it happened and accept why they did what they did?

If you don’t and the reunion is going to be spent with you secretly seething, what’s the point?

You might as well have a boozy old singles’ Christmas and immerse yourself in family, food, fizz and films.

You now both want the same things.

People don’t always fall in love at the same speed so could be you reached the ‘I want a real commitment’ stage quicker than they did.

Time apart works wonders for people who aren’t sure if they’re ready for the next stage.

Missing you horribly can be the wake up call they needed to realise they are happy forsaking all others/moving in/getting married etc.

You think you can trust them again.

This is key.

Even if they didn’t leave you for someone else, they still walked out and left you hurting.

Can you trust them to stick around the next time you hit a rough spot? Will they stick around for the hard stuff?

You quite fancy having them around for Christmas and don’t really care what happens after that.

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It was a quite nice relationship that drifted apart simply because it didn’t ever turn into the big one?

Why not snuggle up to watch 就爱加速器官方下载?

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BAH HUMBUG - FORGET IT!

They turned up drunk, drunk texted, or drunk called.

Sensing a theme here?

Listen, everyone idealises what they had with a significant ex when they’re drunk and lonely.

It’s how they feel stone cold sober that counts.

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But don’t believe a word of it until you see them the next day (and the day after that if they’re really hung over - hangovers also make us emotional).

If they repeat and stand by everything they said clear-headed, that’s when you start taking them seriously.

(If you ended up giving in and you woke up with them, more fool you. Nothing more humiliating than watching someone wake up and look horrified when they realise what they did and who they’re with.)

They’re involved with someone else.

I can’t stop thinking about you but did I mention I now have a live-in girlfriend/wife/wife and three kids?

If they’re serious about getting back together, make it clear you won’t even entertain the idea while they are with someone else.

If they say they’ll only break up with the other person once they know you will give them another chance, refuse.

This is called hedging your bets.

You can be sure they’ll be arriving on their current about-to-be-dumped partner’s doorstep when you hit a bad patch in the future, asking for the same thing.

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They have no real reason why it should work this time around other than that they love and miss you.

Love is not enough to make a relationship work.

You need good communication skills, commitment, things in common, compatible personalities – and that’s the tip of the iceberg.

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They’ve already had a second (and third and fourth) chance.

Really? Another one? Are you a glutton for punishment?

They treated you badly.

If they were cruel – mentally, physically or emotionally abusive in any way – don’t even think about it.

They try to sleep with you the first night you get back together.

They’re horny, not sorry.

They’ve just been dumped themselves.

Everyone decides their ex wasn’t that bad when they’ve been dumped.

They’re coming back for a confidence boost and will be off again the minute they feel secure.

They say they’re willing to change but you suspect it’s all talk.

People will say anything to get what they want and if they know you well, they’ll know how to win you over.

Promises to change are just words – it’s their behaviour that’s important.

If you’re not convinced, set a deadline: they have until the end of January/New Year’s Eve to convince you.

Your friends and family will be horrified to hear you’re back together.

Imagine turning up to your family for Christmas lunch with your ex in tow?

What would be their reaction if you turned up with your ex? Delight? Or disgust?

What about to your best friend’s Xmas party?

Your friends and family want you to be happy and if your ex brought you nothing but misery and they dislike them intensely, respect their judgement.

PINING FOR AN OLD LOVE?

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Everything happens for a reason.

You broke up with your ex because someone even better is out there waiting for you. If they were so perfect, why aren’t they still by your side?

Most people miss being loved and in a good relationship more than they do the person they were in the relationship with.

Don’t fall for the ridiculous notion that there is only one person out there who will make you happy.

鼠标加速,小猪教您怎么去除鼠标加速 - 爱小助:2021-6-14 · 很多玩游戏的朋友都知道鼠标的重要性，只有一款顺手的鼠标才能打出好的成绩。如果您是玩枪战类游戏的玩家您可众知道鼠标加速这个东西，也知道去除鼠标加速后效果会更好，下面就来看看怎么去除鼠标加速吧！现在很多游

You probably weren’t as happy as you remember.

Most people idealise past relationships, glorifying the good times and forgetting about the bad.

You get to go through the falling in love stage all over again.

Being a relationship is wonderful but being in that first, glorious beginning bit of love is out of this world wonderful.

Just think! You get to experience that all over again!

If you’re stuck and can’t move forward, a few sessions with a good therapist can work wonders. Find one at itsgoodtotalk.org.uk or 就爱加速器.

Find more relationships and sex advice on traceycox.com and shop Tracey’s product range for Christmas at lovehoney.co.uk.

A well-timed moan that wasn’t entirely genuine, pretending to love being tied up because you know your partner gets turned on by it….we’re all guilty of telling lies to boost our partner’s ego.

The question is: when is it OK to fib about sex and when isn’t it?

There are some who believe full sexual disclosure is always best for your relationship.

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Quite frankly, I find people who ‘tell it like it is’ and say things like ‘I never lie - people know where they stand with me’ to be the least likeable, least popular people I meet.

We tell a dozen social lies daily to make others feel better and to make life run smoothly, why on earth wouldn’t we tell white lies in bed with the person who means the most to us?

There are some sex situations that would devastate our partner knowing the truth: imagine coming out in some new sexy underwear and your partner saying, “Wow! That really does nothing for you!”

There are definitely some sex situations where lying will accomplish little but make your partner feel dreadful.

Then there are others when lying means your sex life and relationship will never, ever be satisfying for either of you.

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You’d rather stick pins in your eyes than have sex

Your partner’s hitting on you and you have the worst cold you’ve had in years; it’s midnight and you have a hugely important work day looming; you have a baby or young kids that you’ve taken three hours to settle.

Is it OK to say ‘Sorry honey but I’m going to pass this time’? in this type of circumstance?

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There are numerous occasions when you should be honest about not wanting sex.

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If you fall into the category of ‘I am never going to want sex, ever’, speak up now or lose your relationship.

There are many reasons why this can happen: you love but don’t fancy your partner anymore, monogamy has become monotonous or you’ve lost your libido through surgery, medication, menopause or age.

There are ways to navigate these hurdles but without an honest conversation, you haven’t got a hope.

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You should tell your partner if sex is hurting, without exception.

Quite apart from the fact that (unwanted) pain is highly unpleasant, it’s a warning sign: it means they’re doing something to your body that it doesn’t like or there’s something wrong.

Sometimes, the pain can be fleeting and nothing to worry about: your partner’s penis hits your cervix, you say ‘Oww!’, you adjust the angle of penetration and all is fine again.

Other times sex hurts because you’re not fully aroused (there’s not been enough foreplay to allow the vagina to expand and lubricate) or your body has changed (menopause can lead to thinning of the lining of the vagina making penetration painful).

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Sex may also hurt when you’re trying something new – like anal stimulation or intercourse – when it’s even more important to give your partner feedback.

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Always, ALWAYS be honest about pain.

Their technique isn’t working

OK this is one that’s debatable.

If your partner has made the effort to try something new and is giving it their all and obviously pleased with themselves for making an effort, there is absolutely an argument for fudging the truth and pretending you’re enjoying it more than you did.

(On the flipside, don’t be too convincing or they’ll think you want it every time you have sex!)

If we’re talking that you don’t like the technique your partner uses pretty much all of the time, you have no choice but to ‘fess up (or have rubbish sex for as long as you’re together).

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How to broach it when you’ve been pretending you like something for years?

Say, “I think my body is changing because I used to love how you do X but the last few times, it doesn’t feel as good as it used to. Could we try doing Y instead?”

I’m a huge fan of white lies that are used to protect our partner’s feelings, so no apologies for suggesting you package the truth within one.

Really, what’s to be gained by saying, “Actually honey, you know all those hours you’ve spent getting a cricked neck and knackered tongue? Well, they were all wasted”.

You know you’re not going to orgasm

Most people know their bodies well enough to know when there’s a strong chance they won’t climax.

One too many wines (alcohol numbs bits as well as brains), too preoccupied or anxious about something, you’re worried your kids/flatmates/mother-in-law will hear, don’t feel that great, who knows why but you just know.

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For most couples, this one’s a no-brainer: if you have no problems climaxing the rest of the time, it’s no big deal to say you probably won’t this time.

Not so for others.

I counselled a couple who eventually split because her partner was so hugely competitive, he refused to stop trying until she had an orgasm – no matter how long it took.

He took enormous offence at her body not responding to him and would insist on hours (and I do mean hours) of stimulation, determined to make it happen.

Meanwhile, she was equally as determined not to orgasm because of the pressure he was putting on her to do so.

(Hopefully, I don’t need to point out that if you feel under similar pressure, get the hell out of there.)

Whether you’ve already tried something with an ex

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Some people can’t resist saying they’ve done something before, simply because they like to ‘one-up’ their partner.

But this won’t score you sexual brownie points, simply spark unwelcome images of you with another person and make them feel paranoid they won’t measure up.

You had an STI but it’s gone now

BIG emphasis on ‘but it’s gone now’.

Most people know STI’s like herpes lie dormant but never leave and thanks to something called ‘asymptomatic shedding’ can infect others even when you have no symptoms.

Herpes is a viral STI which means it can be controlled but not cured (genital warts, HPV and HIV are also viral).

Bacterial STI’s like chlamydia and gonorrhoea, can be cured with a course of antibiotics.

If your STI was bacterial, you’ve been treated and there’s no way you can pass it onto your partner, it’s totally your business whether to own up to it or not – and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

You had a sexually traumatic experience in the past

If it’s not serious, revealing something highly personal will do little more than make you feel vulnerable and exposed.

But if you want to have a relationship with this person, it makes sense to tell them what happened because it will have shaped who are you sexually.

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If the trauma means you need to wait until you have sex with them but don’t want to reveal why, say “I’d really like to wait before we take this through to sex”. If they ask why, say ‘I need to feel sure of us and safe before I sleep with someone’.

A kind, intuitive partner will guess something has happened in your past.

If they press you for details you aren’t willing to give, this person is not right for you.

You’re actually not into the thing they are

This one definitely tips into the grey area.

Is it a thing that they like doing now and then and you don’t love it but don’t hate it?

I think this falls into the ‘things we do to please our partner’ category and is worth keeping quiet about.

But what if it’s something your partner’s really into and you really don’t enjoy it?

At the far end of the spectrum you have a fetish: when your partner persistently and repetitively is dependent on non-living objects (like shoes or lingerie) or needs to focus on a specific body part (like feet) in order to become aroused.

I’m not talking the boyfriend who gets off on your wearing your heels to bed but the guy who won’t go to bed with you, unless you are wearing your heels.

You have little choice with a fetish: you try to find a way to work with it or send them off to a sex therapist with fingers crossed.

But if it’s something they really like but aren’t wed to, it’s well worth opening your mouth and saying it doesn’t do it for you.

Most people are open to ‘tweaking’ their ‘thing’ to suit their partner or trying something else that makes both of you shiver with anticipation rather than dread.

92就爱加速

Find more, non-judgemental information on sex and relationship on traceycox.com and Tracey’s product range.

Office Christmas parties are meant to be a celebration of the festive season and a chance for bosses to say thanks to their staff for a job well done.

Instead, the combination of lots of free alcohol, mistletoe and colleagues dressed their best, generally means at least one person behaves disgracefully (throwing up where they shouldn’t).

And another two end up taking their in-office flirtation to a different level.

Worried it’s going to be your partner who cheats?

Research suggests there are certain signs that predict if a partner’s gearing up to be unfaithful.

These apply to both men and women, by the way.

I’ve written it for women but if you’re a man and worried your girlfriend or wife may be about to cheat, the same rules apply.

One word so you don’t all turn into paranoid wrecks after reading this: answering ‘yes’ to only one or two on the list, does not mean your partners about to cheat.

These behaviours in isolation mean nothing.

They also don’t mean anything if there’s a logical, justifiable explanation for your partner’s behaviour.

(Of course he’s going to be checking his phone constantly if his Mum’s sick or about to be notified about a promotion.)

So put your ‘sensible head’ on before you read then here goes: the 10 signs your partner may be vulnerable to temptation at his Christmas do.

He has a ‘work wife’ you haven’t met

This the biggest red flag of all.

If he’s very close to another colleague who is female, the Christmas party could offer an opportunity for either of them to turn their relationship from platonic to romantic.

The rating shifts from risky to dangerous if you’ve asked several times to meet her but he’s always got an excuse why you can’t.

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If either of them secretly lust after the other, throwing alcohol and a night out together into the mix does make the party a recipe for disaster.

You’re going through a rough patch

Cheating can happen when everything’s rosy in your relationship but if you’re not getting on well, he’ll feel more likely to think ‘Why shouldn’t I? It’s not like she’ll care!’ if an opportunity arises.

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He’s stopped noticing you

You could shave your head and walk into the room naked, leading a unicorn, and he’d barely look up from the telly?

If he’s paying zero attention, his commitment to the relationship is low.

The higher the engagement with you, the less likely it is he’ll risk losing the relationship by cheating.

His colleagues are known for partying hard and many have been unfaithful to their partners

He’s more likely to have shared this information with you if he doesn’t intend to cheat, knowing it’s going to make you nervous if he goes out with workmates.

But research has proven that people are much more likely to cheat on their partner if they’re surrounded by people who see nothing wrong with it than those who would judge them harshly.

If you meet him at work, his colleagues seem embarrassed and find it hard to meet your eye

How his colleagues treat you is an indication of how your partner talks about you at work – and what he gets up to.

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His cheating or high potential of cheating has made them embarrassed.

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The best form defence is attack and turning it around to be your problem is a classic cheater’s ploy.

A committed boyfriend or husband would rush to reassure you, not attack you for feeling vulnerable.

(This is, of course, assuming you 92就爱加速 have any jealousy issues: most people know if they do. If you’re not sure, ask a trusted friend.)

He’s taking a lot of trouble over his appearance

Suddenly joining a gym or paying more attention to his appearance and clothes without any apparent reason are definite ‘sit up and take notice’ signs.

If he’s motivated to look his best, it can mean a flirtation has already started - or he’s preparing to act on it at the party.

It could also mean he soon intends to be single and wants to look good on dating apps!

He avoids telling you where the Christmas party is being held

No prizes for guessing why this is dodgy: he’s worried you might turn up and catch him red-handed.

Not returning your texts on the night despite you agreeing he would check in

Also highly suspect is texting to say his phone battery is ‘about to die’ when it never usually runs out: the perfect excuse for being unreachable for the rest of the evening.

Ditto being ‘out of service’.

If he genuinely is in an out of service area, he’ll come back out to tell you if he knows you’ll be worried or paranoid (and calls won’t go through).

Calling late to say he’s going to ‘crash on a friend’s sofa’.

If this is usual form for him and he often stays at other people’s places when he’s hit it hard, it’s nothing to worry about.

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THE SIGNS HE DID CHEAT

He didn’t come home at all

If he’s never done this before and didn’t phone home, it’s almost guaranteed something has happened.

He slept on the sofa and never does usually – even after a big night out with the boys.

It could be because he doesn’t want you to smell another woman’s scent on him.

You heard him have a shower before coming to bed for the same reason: he’s washing off traces of her or signs he’s just had sex.

He put his clothes straight in the washing machine

Even if she didn’t wear perfume, we all have an individual scent. If it’s not something you’re used to smelling, you’re likely to pick it up if another female’s been up close and personal.

Your instincts tell you something happened

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Research proves women’s instincts, particularly, are good: most women who don’t have jealousy issues and are convinced their partner has cheated is right.

Refusing to meet your eye, looking guilty, behaving strangely – your gut picks up on subtle clues you’re not even conscious of receiving.

He avoids talking about the party

If he’s cheated or lied, he’ll either volunteer as little information as possible for fear of dropping himself in it or do the opposite and give way too much information.

If it’s the latter, it could be he’s rehearsed his ‘story’ of where he was or why he was late.

爱加速

He could be thinking about what he’s done and deciding whether to confess or start a new relationship with the person he cheated with.

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Pictures posted by work colleagues with him tagged could drop him in it and he’s eager to see and delete them before you do.

It could also be he’s worried the person he cheated with might contact him and you’ll see the message or that they’re now texting (or sexting).

His privacy is suddenly very important

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Ditto disappearing into the bathroom with his phone and staying in there for ages.

WHAT TO DO IF YOU THINK YOUR PARTNER'S CHEATED

You have two choices: look the other way or confront him.

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Simply say you have reason to believe he has been unfaithful and list off your reasons.

Try to stay calm and pay attention to his body language as he does so.

Very few people are able to lie by looking you straight in the eye and touching you (though practised liars know this, so be warned.)

Trust your instincts: if his explanation seems logical but you are convinced he’s lying, go with that.

Then it’s up to you where to go from here.

If you decide to work through it, I’d highly recommend talking though the reasons why he felt the need to cheat and how to regain your trust with a good therapist.

Find one at itsgoodtotalk.org.uk or relate.co.uk.

Visit traceycox.com for more information about sex and relationships and product range.

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Body-consciousness doesn’t just make for some pretty awkward sex or boring ‘lights out’ sex, it interferes with our ability to orgasm.

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But it is possible to swap pre-occupied, unsatisfying sex for adventurous, happy sex, by choosing a sex move specifically designed to flatter your body type.

Here’s how:

BOYISH

Big shoulders, toned and athletic ‘straight up and down’ shape.

Wear: Create curves by wearing a sexy push-up bra or a tight, nipple-revealing sexy vest top. If you’re brave enough, you’ve got the figure to carry off a PVC or leather catsuit with a push-up bra underneath.

Flattering position for intercourse:

Boyish women are generally fit and strong so show off by choosing challenging positions that require strength.

Face-to-face standing positions are perfect. Try ‘the monkey’: He leans against a wall and lifts you up by taking a firm grip of your bottom. You wind your arms around his neck, grip his thighs with yours and put your feet against the wall to give leverage and help him thrust.

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Best position for oral sex:

You’re giving it to him: Continue with the challenging theme and go primal. He lies on his back on the bed and you spread his arms and legs. You then straddle him, facing his feet. Use your feet to pin down his wrists and put your hands on his thighs, for support and to play dominatrix (especially if you’ve gone for the catsuit!).

You’ll only have your tongue free but he’ll be so turned on, it’ll be all your need.

He’s giving it to you: He lies on his back, you climb on board and straddle his face, facing in either direction (depending on whether he’s a breast or bottom man). Put a pillow under his neck and use those strong thigh muscles to lift or lower to position yourself just so.

PEAR-SHAPED

Smaller upper body, wide, sexy hips.

就爱加速安卓版A push up bra and boy short style or silky, loose shorts. Pear-shaped woman often have to-die-for flat tummies and long torso and this combo showcases that perfectly.

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‘Spoon’ positions work well for this body type. You lie on your side, he lies on his side behind you and penetrates. His hands are free to stimulate your clitoris and he gets a great view of your breasts in the push-up bra. Try lifting one thigh and putting it over his hip for an alternative angle and feel.

‘Scissor style’ also works well. Lie on the bed, feet touching and heads facing in opposite directions, then move towards each other so your genitals touch with legs scissored, one leg underneath. It’s an unusual position but remarkably effective for clitoral stimulation and the angle’s flattering on the your body type.

Best position for oral:

You’re giving it to him: He stands, legs spread and with a wall behind him to lean against for support. You kneel on some pillows before him. It’s the classic porn pose so he’ll have masturbated to it many times; add a further twist by keeping your clothes on, while he’s completely naked.

He’s giving it to you: Because you probably don’t suffer from the usual ‘I hate my wobbly stomach’ woes, sit on the kitchen bench (though best wipe it down first – and after!) and slide forward so you’re sitting right on the edge. He kneels (on cushions) in front of you while you rest your feet on his shoulders.

HOUR GLASS

Classic Monroe: small waist, generous sized breasts and hips.

Wear: A corset. They were invented to make other bodies appear like yours. Wear one and you’ll look even more spectacular. Your small waist will look even more pronounced: team it with stockings and suspenders and he’ll think Christmas has come early (and he will too, by the way).

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Or try reverse cowgirl: he lies flat, you face his feet and jump on top while he admires your 36-24-36 silhouette from behind.

Best position for oral sex:

You’re giving it to him: If you really want to make his day and capitalize on your feminine shape, lay it all out in front of him for him to see while you fellate him.

Do this by lying back on the bed with your head hanging over the edge, ready to take him in your mouth. This looks more complicated than it is (promise!).

He’s giving it to you: Make your tiny waist look even tinier by bending over the sofa, face down, standing with your legs spread. He kneels on pillows in front of you, you lift your bottom high and he licks from behind.

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Big, bouncy breasts and broad shoulders, small hips and bottom.

Wear: You’ve not only got great breasts but probably nice slim legs as well. Go topless and pull on some fishnet stockings and suspenders; finish with high heels.

Flattering position for intercourse:

‘Cowgirl’ has those breasts bouncing merrily away: he lies flat and you jump on top. Or try a ‘lap-dance’ position. He sits on a chair with no arms, you straddle him, feet touching the floor and move up and down. He helps by holding you by the waist or caresses the breasts that are – literally – right under his nose.

Best position for oral sex:

You’re giving it to him:

Start off the oral sex session with some ‘Spanish style’ stimulation: put some lickable lube in your cleavage, hold your breasts together and let him slide his penis in and out. (Why this technique earned the ‘Spanish-style’ name is anyone’s guess!) From there, drop to your knees and start oral stimulation.

He’s giving it to you: He kneels in front of you while you lie back on the bed and lifts your legs so your ankles rest on his shoulders. You’re easy to hold up and your breasts splay attractively.

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A short torso means you carry any weight on your tummy but lovely long limbs make up for it.

Wear: A well-cut A-line long camisole that skims over your stomach but stops high on the thigh hides any tummy you might be vulnerable about but showcases long legs. Or literally steal the shirt off his back, leaving one button done up. Far sexier than insisting he turns off the lights and leaving your T-shirt on.

Best sex move:

Rear-entry positions are the most flattering. Kneel facing away from him, lean down to rest your weight on your forearms and push your bottom tantalizingly high in the air in his direction. Not only does it give him a visual treat, the angle and position makes your waist look tiny and your thighs slim and taut.

If you do opt for missionary, make your midriff look sexier by stretching your arms up over your head and grabbing onto the bedposts or by placing them flat on the wall behind the bed. It not only flattens your tummy, it makes breasts appear perkier.

Best position for oral sex:

就爱加速官网Get him to sit in the middle of the bed with his legs bent. Your head is between his legs and your bottom’s up in the air. Place a mirror behind you and he has a full view of your naked, arch your back to make yourself look even sexier.

He’s giving it to you: Try ‘the leg up’. You lie back on the bed, leaving one leg dangling over the edge and lifting the other up to your chest, holding it in place. He kneels on pillows in front of you. Your thighs look great, the lifted leg hides any wobbly bits on your stomach.

Women are usually more sensitive one side of the clitoris than the other, so choose which leg you’ll hold up accordingly!

For more practical advice, visit traceycox.com. For Tracey’s product ranges check out lovehoney.co.uk.

Sick of online dating and hook-up apps?
Here’s a radical concept: why not try meeting a man the old-fashioned way– in person.

No more wading through thousands of profiles, based mostly on lies and flattering, filtered photos; no more polite, soul destroying dates with people you know you’ll never fall for; no more humiliating Tinder hook ups with guys who leave the second they realise sex isn’t on offer.

If you meet someone in person, you know whether you have chemistry or not. Or they grow on you naturally and delightfully: transitioning from a friend at work to someone you can’t live without.

Meeting a man IRL does require you actually getting up off the sofa, turning off Netflix and leaving your flat, but if you want results, this is what you have to do.

Another thing you’ll need is an open mind.

The person you end up with probably won’t look like – or be anything like - the person you think you’re going to end up with.

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Ditch the list

If you’re single and over 25, you’ll have a list of ‘partner must-have’s’.

Swap it for a questionnaire that you answer around date five.

Are they a nice person? Are they kind? Do they have great friends who clearly adore them? Do they get on well with their family? Is he nice to women? Does he treat you beautifully and clearly want to please you? Does he make you laugh?

These are the things that matter.

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Don’t look down, look up

Whenever I meet a single friend out and about, without exception, they are looking at their phone when I arrive.

Most of the time, they’re checking social media to see if some flakey guy they met online has finally called or made contact.

They’re surrounded by a sea of real life attractive men who are all potential partners but don’t see them.

PUT THE PHONE DOWN.

Now look confidently around your environment and meet the eyes of people you find attractive.

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If they smile back, shyly glance back every few minutes so they well and truly get the message you’re open to being approached.

Single men are everywhere

They’re on the tube sitting beside you. They’re in the supermarket. They’re queuing for coffee. They’re walking in the park.

We all have a tendency to compartmentalise our lives: the weekends or nights are for finding love, week days are for work.

Open your eyes to ALL possibilities – you can meet the future love of your life anywhere and everywhere and that includes 9am on a Monday morning waiting for the bus.

Carry or wear something unusual

Yes really.

Wearing a bright coat or carrying a quirky bag or a (physical) copy of a book that’s controversial gives people an instant conversation starter.

“I love your coat/bag/backpack” and next minute you’re chatting away.

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If I hadn’t asked my now husband if he wanted my phone number (after three hours of chatting – seriously, how shy was he!) we’d never have seen each other again.

Be brazen.

What have you got to lose?

If they say they’re married or attached, smile and wave goodbye and console yourself with the thought that you won’t spend the next week kicking yourself with ‘What if’s..’.

Go somewhere new

Keep doing what you always do and you’ll get what you’ve always got!

If you never meet anyone, you’re going to the wrong places.

Try a different area, a new pub, walk in the opposite direction during your lunch hour in search of more than a sandwich, go out with different friends.

If you’ve been going to the same pub, with the same friends, every Friday night for six months and never, ever end up finding anyone remotely interesting, why the hell are you still going?

Touch people

If you want to connect with someone, there is no better way to do it than through touch.

The briefest, tiniest touch can have an electric effect.

The next time you’re in a crowded pub, try this experiment.

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They’ll look around immediately and when they do, flash the biggest smile you can muster and say, ‘Sorry! It’s so crowded I couldn’t get through’.

Chances are they’ll obediently move to one side and flash you a smile back.

From that moment on, even if you’re not really their type, every time you catch their eye, they’ll smile at you.

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In fact, it’d be rude not to because it feels like you 就爱加速器官方下载 each other. All because of that one touch!

Accept every invitation if it means you’ll meet new people

Say yes to everything you’re asked to that involves new people.

Especially say yes to after work drinks and happy hours: even if you don’t fancy anyone at work, you might fancy their friend who comes to meet them.

Say yes to friend’s birthday drinks even if you’re not that keen on the friend, say yes to trying a salsa class with a friend (even if you’re like me and the idea makes you want to stick pins in your eyeballs, go once and check it out anyway.)

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In fact, find as many gym bunny friends as you can and go to ALL the gym Christmas parties: if the party at my gym is anything to go back, there’s a ridiculous amount of snogging that goes on!

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就爱加速安卓版

Don’t be afraid to make the first move

I saw my now husband standing on the river with a pint in his hand and it took me about two minutes to come up with a cunning plan to talk to him.

(A box of matches was in between us, they were from Stringfellows strip club, Where they his?, God no! and off we went.)

So I didn’t only ask for the phone number at the end (see above), I was the one who started the conversation at the beginning.

Most men aren’t as confident as they appear.

Most men don’t have a clue of how to approach women.

The better looking you are, the worse it is for them because the chance of rejection is higher.

If you find someone attractive, find any excuse to talk to them.

Don’t use a line (men hate them just as much as women do), just say something that’s applicable to the situation.

If you’re both pondering the choices at Pret, say “Hmm. What do you reckon? The chicken salad or the soup?”.

If he’s standing beside you at the newsagent, pick up the paper and comment on what’s on the front page.

If you’re a runner and keep passing the same (hot) person, start saying ‘Hello’ each time you pass.

The next time step it up and say ‘We have to stop meeting like this”.

Yes you can be that cheesy!

It really doesn’t matter what you say, all you need to do is make conversation to give a very obvious green light that you’re open to being approached.

Go to single’s events

Most dating websites offer in person events like balls and get togethers.

Skip the online stuff, go along to the in person events: they’re far more successful at matchmaking.

Agree to be set up on that blind date

That sweet little old lady who lives next door and swears her grandson would be perfect for you – take her up on meeting him.

Hey, it worked for Bridget Jones.

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You’ll find out if you’ve caught anyone’s eye – and can use it to alert the guy you’ve been shyly smiling at for weeks.

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Up your chances by trying to catch the same bus or tube – the more we see people, the more attractive they get.

That ordinary looking guy you’d never normally look twice at suddenly becomes the person you search for because you’ve started to enjoy that early morning banter.

And on that note…

Become a regular

A café, a bookstore, a bar, a restaurant – anywhere that exposes you to the same people over and over.

We’re more comfortable in places we go to often, so happier making the first move.

It’s easy to nod or smile at someone we’ve seen before and before you know it, you’re having real conversations.

Familiarity forces us to see past the exterior.

Make people laugh

One minute of laughter relaxes us for up to 45 minutes!

Both laughter and smiles release ‘happy’ hormones into our bloodstream.

Feel-good junkies that we are, we listen longer, talk longer and feel warmer and friendlier toward people who inspire this feeling.

If you’ve got a wicked sense of humour, unleash this secret weapon.

Do things on your own

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Sure, it’s easier to go out with girlfriends or hang out with lovely couple friends at their fabulous apartment, but it’s not going to get you loved or laid.

Be easy to approach

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If you’re with a friend who could look like your partner, put some space between you and turn your torso so you’re facing out rather than in.

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Flirt

The more flirtatious the person, the more they get asked out.

Fact.

Anyone can be a good flirt: you simply need to follow some basic rules.

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That’s it. You’re done.

Don’t give up

You’ve spent weeks cultivating a connection with the most divine man you’ve ever seen only to find out he’s married/gay/has a girlfriend/about to move to Iceland?

Don’t be put off.

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It happens.

Keep positive, keep flirting and stay hopeful.

Love comes to those who are out there looking for it.

Find more advice on love, sex and relationships on traceycox.com. Find Tracey's products on lovehoney.

HOW DO MOST PEOPLE MEET?

One study found 39 per cent of 2300 people between the age of 18 and 34 met through friends, 22 per cent through unspecified social situations, 18 per cent met through work, 10 per cent met online and six per cent through social media.

So think again if you think looking down at your phone is going to find you the love of your life.

More bamboozling statistics: a 2016 US survey (of people who’ve been with their partner for five years or less) found 88 per cent had met IRL without the help of a dating site.

Yet another study found couples last longer if they meet in person rather than online.

HOST A ‘MY SINGLE FRIEND’ PARTY

Take a tip from Sarah Beeny: her website mysinglefriend.com is genius.

Friends who have a great single friend – often exes of theirs - put up a profile on their behalf.

Friends know us better than anyone else, so the profiles are kind but honest.

Take this concept through to real life by organising a ‘my single friend’ party.

All your friends are invited and each has to bring at least one single friend along – an ex, a work colleague, a sibling – anyone who is attractive and available.

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Not only that, if you’re introduced through someone else, you can get a secret rundown of what you’re going to be in for if you date them.

Think mastering ‘The Wheelbarrow’ position is pretty impressive and doing it in front of a mirror terribly risque?

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Many sex practices that were once thought taboo are now the norm in bedrooms across the UK and US.

Up for some ‘pegging’, ‘tea bagging’ or a sex party? Read on!

(One word before you do though: as with all sexual practises (but most particularly anything slightly unusual) these are only to be practised with consensual and willing partners after discussing.

There are also health risks associated with some, so do your research before barging on in there!)

PEGGING

I remember writing about pegging about 20 years ago and everyone’s reaction was ‘What! My boyfriend/husband’s not gay, why the hell would he want me to do that to him?’

Pegging was the hottest sex trend in 2016 and far from being a fad, is fast becoming something most couples try at least once.

For those not in the know, pegging is when a woman penetrates her male partner with a strap-on dildo.

There are ancient drawings of pegging, so it’s nothing new, and it’s been a popular theme in porn for decades.

It moved into the mainstream in 2001 when US sex commentator Dan Savage, author of the Savage Love column, held a contest to come up with a name for the practise.

Pegging is now commonplace – it got a mention in the cult TV show Broad City last season, dominates the headlines in online sex blogs and magazine websites and there’s an entire Reddit post dedicated to it.

SEX PARTIES

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Fast forward to 2017 and you have a myriad of sex soirees to cater for every whim.

Even This Morning’s Eammon Holmes has been to one (though it was research for a TV show…well, so he says).

Killing Kittens is one of the most popular and well-known sex parties and particularly appeals to bi-curious women who pay to attend ‘high-class events’, usually held in country homes.

Once there, mix with other lingerie-clad women (and hand-picked men) or disappear to a dungeon equipped with whips and chains or a ‘play room’ for some heavy petting.

The Eureka Club in leafy Kent regularly holds themed sex parties (including one for ‘bootylicious big, beautiful women’) while Club Hermione holds monthly sex parties in London (invitation only for this private club which demands men wear suits).

The Skirt Club caters for bi-sexual or bi-curious girls who want to play with girls, Passion Elite holds sex pool parties with fire-eaters and burlesque dancers thrown in for good luck.

Finally, for the traditionalists, there’s the good old Torture Garden, one of the best known and oldest fetish clubs in London.

There’s even a sex festival: ‘Flamefest’ has live bands, yoga tents, gourmet food and adult play areas where people can go to have sex with their partner or strangers or to be whipped by dominatrixes.

There’s no shame to attending sex parties either: plenty of attendees are proud to post on social media.

BDSM

Fifty Shades may have brought it to the forefront but around 37 per cent of people in the UK have engaged in some form of bondage or blindfolding.

According to recent research, BDSM is the second most popular sex fetish in Britain (filming yourself having sex tops the list, in case you’re wondering).

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Think handcuffs and blindfolds and pretending to be each other’s sexual slave.

One person is dominant, the other submissive – though lots of couples switch between the two roles depending on their mood.

ANAL STIMULATION

Despite the anus being rich in nerve endings, it wasn’t so long ago that anal play was considered either ‘unhygienic’, something only ‘closet gays’ did or just plain ‘disgusting’.

In 2017, roughly 40 per cent of women, aged 20 to 24, have tried anal sex and around 20 per cent of women in relationships have had anal sex in the last three months.

Your average couple are much more willing to own up to having anal than your parents generation and both men men and women now admit to enjoying anal sex or anal play.

Sex toys designed especially for anal stimulation are one of the biggest rising categories in sex toys.

“Twenty years ago, anal toys meant anal beads and butt plugs; now there are dozens of types of anal toys for him, her and couple play,” says Bonny Hall, product director of Lovehoney, one of the biggest UK sex toy retailers.

Sophisticated prostate massagers are a huge hit on the Lovehoney website, as are ‘double penetration’ toys.

It’s not just happening in the UK: there’s been a dramatic rise in heterosexual anal play in America as well.

According to recent US research, 37 per cent of straight American women have anal sex (and other studies suggest that figure is conservative).

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TEA BAGGING

Samantha did it in Sex and the City (then again Samantha did pretty much everything there was to do) but you’d be surprised just how many women are joining her.

For the uninitiated, tea bagging is when a man puts his scrotum into his partner’s mouth and then dips it in and out – as you would dunking a tea bag into hot water.

There’s no obvious pleasure on the person doing the tea-bagging – other than giving pleasure to your partner – but since lots of men love having their testicles and scrotum stimulated, it’s fast gaining popularity.

Lots of couples do it purely for a laugh, others for the challenge and lots more simply because it something new that feels good for him.

GOLDEN SHOWERS

It’s officially called Urolagnia – deriving sexual pleasure by the sight, thought or feel of urination.

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Why have golden showers crossed the line from something rarely talked about to a highly popular theme on pornography sites?

President Trump had something to do with it: rumours that he allegedly paid for sex workers to pee on him drew world-wide attention to the practise.

Men are far more likely than women to be urophiliacs and want to be peed on; women are far more likely to be the ones doing the peeing.

Some like the feeling of being degraded or degrading their partner but more often the appeal is simply because it’s one of the few sexual acts that remains ‘taboo’ – even if it’s more common than you think.

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Vaginal fisting – inserting a fist inside the vagina – has long been practised in the gay community but it’s becoming far more common with heterosexuals as well.

It’s not just men who are keen to try it - young women are now more likely to search for the term ‘fisting’ on porn sites than men.

Accessibility to porn, social media and casual sex apps like Tinder mean twentysomethings have grown up a lot less inhibited than previous generations and are less likely to categorise sex activities as something ‘gay people do’ or ‘straight people do’.

Despite still being a process that requires a lot of time and patience and something that must not be even attempted by anyone who isn’t highly enthusiastic to try, fisting has nonetheless jumped fenced from ‘don’t even think about it’ to ‘maybe’.

For more practical information on trying new sex practices visit traceycox.com. For Tracey's product range visit lovehoney.co.uk

Women spend their lives asking “Do I look fat?”, men spend it asking “Do I look too small?”

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This is because they compare their penises to men in porn who are chosen specifically for their big willies (and for being able to sustain an erection and ejaculate on cue).

The other times they see other penises is when they’re at the urinal, trying not to look down at other men.

Most penises look big from this angle.

He’s also not stupid: he’s heard all the jokes about small and big penises and he knows if his is either under size or over size, all your friends will know about it.

Given his vulnerability and the dire complications if you get it wrong, how do you answer if your man asks you if you honestly think it’s too small or too skinny?

Here’s everything you need to know…

He already knows how big he is

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Most men have done their own research and measured themselves.

(Is there a man alive who hasn’t measured his penis? I doubt it!)

So if he’s much bigger, smaller, thicker or skinnier than the norm, assume he knows exactly where he stands on the scale.

If he really is undersize, saying “That’s enormous!” when faced with something that’s more straw than sausage is silly and demeaning.

He’ll just think you’re being sarcastic and will feel even worse.

What he’s looking for is reassurance that you’re OK with it, not affirmation of his worst fears.

Brutal honesty doesn’t work

I do not believe total honesty is in the best interest of any relationship.

I view people who pride themselves on ‘telling it like it is’ suspiciously – very often, it’s an excuse to be tactless and spiteful.

If you’re in a relationship with someone, you should be their personal cheer squad.

This means bigging him up – literally - on all counts.

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“Now you mention it, you have put on weight. Especially on your stomach and thighs.”

Or “Of course you don’t look fat. You always look amazing!”

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The correct answer is ‘Is my penis too small?’ is never ‘Yes.”

Agree and not only will his penis never come out to play with you again, it quite possibly might never ever raise its head again.

It’s polite and kind to fib

But it needs to be believable.

Saying his penis is as thick as your arm when it’s more like a pencil is ridiculous.

Far better to say, “Do you know what? I really like your penis. It feels fantastic inside me and penises that are too big hurt.”

Get the wording completely right

If you asked him if you were pretty, how would you feel if he said “You’re pretty enough for me”.

Saying “It’s big enough for me” when he asks how you feel about his penis may get a similar reaction.

It’s imperative to get the answer word perfect – and delivery is also important.

Look him straight in the eye if he asks the question and speak with confidence and feeling.

Practice in front of the mirror (though for God’s sake, don’t get caught rehearsing!)

Do you look and sound sincere and reassuring?

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If it’s that obvious and he comes right out and asks if he’s too small or too thin, it’s pointless pretending you don’t know what he’s on about.

If you haven’t had much experience sexually, you could try saying “I really wouldn’t know. I haven’t got much to compare it to.”

Or try to fob it off with a vague “I honestly don’t know if it’s big or small and don’t really care – all I know is it feels good.”

If not, be logical.

Tell him you’re really not concerned with his size: how he treats you as a lover is far more important.

Make it clear his penis is attached to him: he’s a package not just a penis!

If he genuinely believes you don’t think it’s a big deal, you can both get on with having some seriously good sex.

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You could also trot out the “Its not the size of the boat, it’s the motion of the ocean”/”It’s not what you’ve got, it’s how you use it” line.

Add “And you’re a brilliant lover” on the end and you might never have to have that conversation again.

If he’s just shy of average:

There is absolutely NOTHING to be gained by admitting he’s slightly under average.

(And seriously, who cares?)

This one’s easy to handle: if he’s slightly under average in length, you talk about how the girth of the penis is far more important.

You won’t be lying: thicker penises have more contact with the vaginal wall where the nerve endings are.

If he’s long enough but skinnier than usual, talk about how most of the nerves are in the first inch or so of the vagina so length really makes no difference.

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I hasten to add, these are great reassurances for later – and only if he asks for it.

For the first few times, your only job is to make sure he knows you love his favourite part as much as he does.

Great ways to show it?

Be as fascinated by his penis as he is, giving it lots of attention.

Grab him by the penis and lead him into the bedroom: it’s sexy and he thinks it must be big if she (or he, if you’re gay) can do that.

Put a pillow beneath your bottom to make things tighter during intercourse and let him know you find it hard to penetrate purely through penetration (only 20-25 per cent of women can manage it).

Tell him what he does with his tongue is way more important to you – and he’s the best at oral sex you’ve ever had.

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This is a totally different ball game (sorry, couldn’t resist).

Telling a man his penis is way bigger than usual is going to inflate his ego (and his member!) rather than deflate it.

Telling him it’s so big you don’t want sex with him is quite another thing.

“I’m starting to feel like a freak,” one man tweeted to me, desperate for advice on what to do.

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If he’s a man with a bigger than usual penis, he needs to be extremely skilled in foreplay to make penetration comfortable (and in extreme cases) possible.

In this scenario, the reassurance switches: he’ll end up trying to convince you that size doesn’t matter rather than the other way around!

You’ll find tips on navigating a big one here http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-4685708/Tracey-Cox-navigate-penis-size.html

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“He didn’t harp on about being small either or ask for reassurance. Just gone on with making me orgasm.

“The huge guy was cocky – literally and figuratively.

“He took it out and then waited for me to comment on how big it was.

“He actually said ‘You can touch it if you like’ as though he was doing me a favour.

“Foreplay consisted of me doing things to him, while he admired his penis, and him doing nothing to me.

“Needless to say, it was the worse, most painful and uncomfortable sex I’ve ever had.”

Find more great sex advice at traceycox.com and her product range for men and women

HOW TO MASK YOUR DISAPPOINTMENT (IF HE’S NOT WHAT YOU’D IMAGINED)

Be prepared

The first time you see his penis is when he’s going to be on full alert for your reaction.

So it’s always a good idea to feel him through his jeans before he gets anywhere near taking them off, to get an idea of what you’re dealing with.

If you can’t feel much happening, don’t panic!

It could be he’s nervous and having a few erection wobbles or needs more direct stimulation to become erect.

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Or not.

Prepared yourself for either eventuality.

You think he’s going to be too small, too skinny or have an unusual shape?

Think about how you’d react if he was average size and continue as you would normally.

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If you can’t quite believe how small it is, don’t panic by patting around his groin like ‘I must be in the wrong place. It must be here somewhere!”

Don’t feel it and then look down unless it’s to admire

If he’s undersize, this is his worst nightmare.

Better to keep hold of it and keep kissing than stop everything to gawp.

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Don’t avoid touching him if he’s really small or not erect

Our first reaction when faced with something we’re not expecting is to remove our hands.

Again, not a great message (“I can’t bear to touch you!”) and you never know what might happen if you continue to stimulate him.

“When he took his boxers off I honestly didn’t know what to say I do. It was so small, I ended up picking it up between my thumb and forefinger rather than using my whole hand,” one 24-year-old woman told me.

“It actually got a lot bigger when I paid it attention and we went out for a few years.

“He told me the reactions he’d got from women over the years were horrendous and really hurtful.

“Some women laughed in his face. Others ignored it once they saw how small he was and came up with an excuse never to see him again.

“But once I was over the shock, we were fine!”

Say something nice

Imagine how you’d feel if you undressed for him and he looked you up and down and then said nothing at all.

It’s rude not to comment.

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This shifts the focus from size to you letting him know he turns you on regardless.

Or say something generic like ‘You’re so sexy, you know that?” while taking a firm, confident grip.

SIX OF THE BEST PENIS COMPLIMENTS

“Not yet. I need to be fully aroused to be able to cope with….就爱加速官网”

“I hope you’ve got some lube.”

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“You’ve got a great body (look down) in fact, all of you is fantastic.”

“Your penis really turns me on.”

“I’m really glad you’re not any bigger. That would have hurt.”

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“Awww! That’s cute!”

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“Are you in yet?”

“Why is it that weird shape?”

“Why is it that weird colour?”

“I hope you’re good at giving oral sex.”

THE JURY’S STILL OUT ON…

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Some men think this is the perfect tactful answer, others said it’s such an obvious lie designed to protect his feelings.

“I’ve seen smaller”

Basically you’ve just admitted he is on the small side.

“It’s not the biggest I’ve ever seen but you are fantastic in bed and I love having sex with you.”

If he’s really small and there’s absolutely no argument that he is, this is absolutely the right thing to say.

But if he’s only slightly below average, he’ll hear ‘It’s not the biggest one…’ and will be deaf to what follows.

Information about sex has never been easier to access – but the same questions continue to perplex generation after generation of women.

Here are some straight, no-nonsense answers to the questions women ask most about sex.

Why can’t I climax with my partner during intercourse?

Because you’re not designed to physiologically.

Only one quarter of all women orgasm through penetration despite both men and women believing the opposite: that most women do.

Dr Laurie Mintz, a US psychology professor and human sexuality expert (and author of Becoming Cliterate), thinks we’ve separated our most reliable route to female orgasm – clitoral stimulation – from how we feel we should orgasm – penetration.

The result is men have at least three times as many orgasms with a partner than women do.

The clitoris is outside the vagina and all orgasms require some type of clitoral stimulation (remembering the bit you see is just the head).

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This means holding a small vibrator during penetration or one of you using your fingers to stimulate it.

I’m bored with sex even though I love my partner.

Ironically, the couples that are the closest are the most likely to suffer loss of desire.

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There are some couples who are having hot, rampant sex after a decade together but it’s rare not common.

The trick is (and you know what’s coming even if you aren’t) is variety.

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Remember the kind of sex you had at the start that you both loved?

Write down, in as much detail as possible, what you did.

Sex in a semi-public place? Quickies? A day spent in bed with lots of pre-planning on what you’d wear and do?

We put more effort into our sex lives than we think at the beginning: it’s not all hormones.

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If you’re lost for inspiration search ‘new things to try in bed’ - you could spend days reading all the suggestions.

Is there really a G-spot?

It’s certainly not the ‘magic button’ everyone thought it was going to be.

But on some women, there is an area around one to two inches along the front vaginal wall (the bit directly under your tummy) that can produce intensely erotic feelings in some women.

The key word here is ‘some’.

Some women find G-spot stimulation highly uncomfortable or ‘just weird’.

Others say if you get past that feeling of desperately needing to pee, the resulting orgasms are like no other.

Theories on why it feels good if it’s stimulated enthusiastically (the area requires quite firm pressure) vary.

One is that stimulation of this area in turn stimulates the erectile tissue in the urethra (which can be pleasurable); other theories are that it indirectly simulates the crura (legs of the clitoris: picture the wishbone of a turkey).

The G-spot remains the Marmite of sex: some are bonkers about G-spot stimulation, others can’t bear it.

Am I gay if I have fantasies about being with a woman?

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Women are more likely to have same sex fantasies than men are, probably because it’s seen as more acceptable.

We’re also less likely to get hung up on homophobic fears that we’re gay.

The woman featured in our fantasies usually isn’t someone we know but she always seem to know exactly what to do to turn us on because she’s got what we’ve got.

Some psychotherapists believe same sex fantasies are narcissistic: we’re imagining what it would be like to make love to ourselves.

I think they’re more about healthy sexual curiosity: it’s something we all wonder about and something men encourage, given their obsession with two girl, one guy threesomes.

Why does he prefer having solo sex watching porn than having sex with me?

Because porn sex is effortless sex.

He can turn on his computer and be treated to millions of different images, focusing on hundreds of different themes, to suit every taste and every mood.

There’s no judgement, no embarrassment if his erections aren’t as strong as they used to be, he’s never bored and it can be all over in four minutes – start to finish.

Having sex with you requires being nice in and out of bed, being sexually skilled and you wanting sex the same time as he does and the same type of sex.

Tell him, calmly, that you know he watches porn and say you want to know what appeals to him most about it.

Take your cue from there.

We have mismatched libidos. Are we doomed?

No you aren’t but you are in for a rocky ride.

Couples often don’t find out just how different their libidos are for about a year because new sex artificially inflates the lower sex drive person’s desire for sex.

It’s when all the sex hormones wear off and cuddle hormones like oxytocin move in that you find out one of you is up for it morning and night and the other would quite happily settle for once a month.

Fixing differing sex drives generally involves coming up with some sort of compromise over how often and how long you have sex.

Something that I’ve found works well with couples is both agreeing on a number of five or ten minute sex sessions per week.

It satisfies both: the high sex person gets sex more often, the low sex person doesn’t have to commit to long sessions.

Putting a time limit on it increases intensity.

Adding a vibrator into the mix also helps things enormously, if the low sex drive person is female.

What’s the best sex position to have an orgasm?

Did anyone in the world read that question and assume I was talking about a man?

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Any position where the woman is in control and there’s maximum contact between the vulva and his groin works well.

Think grinding rather than traditional thrusting: it’s woefully inadequate at stimulating the clitoris and only works on women whose clitoris is larger than usual, positioned close to the vaginal entrance and so gets inadvertently ‘pulled’ by the motion of thrusting.

Woman on top seems to work the best for several reasons: you can easily grind against his pelvis, angle him to hit the highly sensitive front vaginal wall and it’s easy to hold a vibrator on the clitoris.

Remember: women aren’t anatomically built to orgasm during intercourse.

Why the clitoris is outside rather than inside the vagina is anyone’s guess but it’s certainly not helpful!

I don’t like giving oral sex. Any advice?

It’s usually for one of three reasons: he’s a bit smelly, you gag or don’t like swallowing.

Solve the smell problem by having a shower together first or saying “I’m just off to wash my bits so I’m all fresh for you” and hope he’ll take the hint.

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Change your position and technique so you have control.

Get him to stand in front of you while you sit on the bed facing him and always use one hand to control his penis so its up to you how deeply you take him into your mouth.

If he pushes your head down, tell him you’ll stop if he ever does it again.

If you don’t want to swallow, don’t!

Instead just continue stimulating him with your hand.

The whole ‘deep throat’ thing is more a psychological kick than physical: most feeling is in the head not the shaft of the penis.

Can I get addicted to my vibrator?

No – and yes.

Vibration is one of the most effective ways to stimulate the clitoris, so it’s no wonder we find it’s the easiest way to orgasm.

For lots of women though, it’s the only way they can orgasm – which causes problems because it’s not a technique your partner can replicate (though you can try a vibrating penis ring).

Thing is, the more different ways you can orgasm, the more orgasms you’ll have.

Our brains and our organs get very used to the well-trodden path so if you only have orgasms with your vibrator, your body will resist you trying other ways.

Why bother when your vibrator’s a sure thing?

Thankfully, tongues are also very effective at making women climax.

If you’re having a combination of vibrator and oral sex orgasms (or through manual stimulation or front vaginal wall stimulation), no need to worry.

But if all your orgasms are vibratory, you might want to ditch it for a while and train yourself to orgasm by another method.

Or turn your twosome into a threesome and bring the vibrator into bed with you.

How do I get my libido back after having a baby

It’s not just women who experience loss of desire after a baby: lots of Dads do too.

Babies mean sleep deprivation and being emotionally and physically there for another little human being pretty much every moment they’re awake.

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Help it return without putting pressure on yourselves by staying tactile and doing sensual rather than sexual things like having a bath together and giving each other massages (without anything expected in return).

Later, progress to low effort sex – one of you gives the other oral or hand pleasure, then reverse the next time.

Keep sessions short and low stress: even a good, long, sexy kiss can be enough to keep you erotically connected.

Most important, talk to each other about how you’re feeling and reassure each other that while sex is not important right now, it will be later on.

For more non-judgemental, practical advice about sex, visit traceycox.com and lovehoney.co.uk for her range of products.

Still searching for Mr Right? The One? Your personal Prince Charming?

How many years has it been exactly?

“I’ve been looking for Mr Right since I was about 12,” a friend of mine always jokes.

Except she’s not kidding – she’s now 46, still hasn’t found him but remains utterly convinced he’s out there.

I’ve seen her with lots of men who I’m convinced are just right for her but, like many women, she’s been brainwashed.

Drip-fed the tired, outdated and false notion of what constitutes ‘true’ love: that fireworks, drama, arguments resolved by make-up sex and feeling uncertain and unsettled are indications we’ve really fallen for someone.

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That’s not love, it’s friendship, we tell ourselves.

Big mistake.

That sort of relationship is a much better basis for a happy marriage than Hollywood’s interpretation of ‘real love’.

Am saying women should settle?

No.

I’m saying we need to look at our definition of love and what makes the right partner for us - base it more on compatibility than grand passion.

Cindy Crawford did it.

One of the world’s most beautiful supermodels married her best male friend and admitted the ‘spark’ wasn’t there initially.

She’s still happily married 19 years later - not bad for anyone but extraordinary for a celebrity marriage.

Here’s another six good reasons why giving up the search for Mr Right and going for Mr Good Enough will lead you to a happy, long-lasting and loving relationship.

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Is there anyone out there post 35 who doesn’t think SATC’s Carrie Bradshaw made a huge mistake in marrying Big rather than the sweet, kind, dependable Aidan?

Big made lots of grand gestures but didn’t even turn up to his own wedding!

Yes he was handsome and rich but where does that get you if the guy’s flakier than a pastry?

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But when we’re older and wiser, sensible people realise they’re a sign of incompatibility not true love.

Update your ‘must have’ partner list

‘Steady does it’ might not be the sexiest saying you’ve heard but reliability is a massive plus in a husband and a father.

Dependable, supportive, thoughtful, kind, generous – you wouldn’t dream of putting these attributes on your ‘Must have partner list’ when you were young.

Back then, it’s all about ‘Must be tall, ‘Must be great in bed’, ‘Must be rich’, ‘Must have blonde hair’.

When you’re older, the list changes – and it should do!

The qualities that appeal for short term flings are very different to what works long-term.

A partner for life is just that: someone you have to spent pretty much every single day with until you die (or split).

Think about it logically: is it hot sex and good looks that are going to keep you interested for the next 30 years?

Or a good sense of humour?

Who is going to keep you sane when the kids are flinging food all over the kitchen for the 65^th time that week?

Happy Ever After is about having a teammate, someone who is on your side, watching your back.

Handsome and sexy are nice but they’re not crucial ingredients.

A slow burn is better that a hot fire

Instant, passionate love – the sort we’ve been taught to believe is ‘real’ love - is like a wild fire.

There’s a spark and suddenly it’s raging, engulfing everything in its path.

Love that’s based on friendship and compatibility starts quietly.

It can take a while before there’s even a tiny flicker but if you nurture it, it builds slowly but consistently.

Passionate love has a high likelihood of burning out because it puts people on high pedestals and tends to involve idealisation.

The sort of people who think passionate love is the only relationship worth considering are often idealists; romantic fantasists who are easily disappointed when their lovers turn out to be human and imperfect.

Too much too soon blinds us to the real person

Strong feeling and emotion very early into a relationship isn’t necessarily a good thing for another reason: new sex and falling in love can blind us to what’s really in front of us.

We fall in love with the idea of being in love before we really get to know the person.

Love that starts as friendship or I-really-like-them-but-not-sure-if-I-fancy-them is built on a foundation of things that matter.

You keep seeing those people not for their looks or sexual appeal but because you like their personality and sense of humour; they’re kind to you and great company.

These qualities aren’t transient: unlike looks or sex appeal they last the test of time.

But what about sex?

True, chemistry is helpful when it comes to sex and you obviously need to find the person attractive in some way for the relationships to work romantically.

But familiarity breeds lust: research shows the more we like someone, the more attractive they get.

Just because they didn’t blow your socks off attraction wise on date one, two or three doesn’t mean they won’t a few weeks or months in.

The more we get to know someone, the more attractive qualities you’ll see.

We’ve all watched a couple where one or both change over the years.

Put someone you couldn’t possibly fancy in different clothes, give them a new hair cut and a confidence boost and you might be very surprised by how you feel.

Besides, they just might have something else under their belt – great technique.

Nothing is more important for satisfying, long-term sex than good technique.

They might not be a 10 in the looks department but that doesn’t mean they won’t be a 10 in bed!

Less attractive people are more likely to have their sexual skills than Mr or Mrs Sex On Legs because they know they can’t just coast on their looks.

(Also remember, technique can be taught. You can turn anyone into a fantastic lover if you tell them what you want and crave.)

Liking someone is more important than loving someone

Recent US research – 50 years worth – studied couples to find out the secrets to making a relationship last.

Not surprisingly, they found ‘being able to talk and laugh’ as one of the top four qualities.

If you can laugh during times of greatest stress, there is enormous potential for survival and growth, say the researchers.

Go for the guy who listens and makes you laugh and you can’t go wrong.

Visit traceycox.com for more sex advice and info and to see Tracey's range of products

HOW TO FALL IN LOVE WITH MR GOOD ENOUGH/CREATE A SPARK

Stop thinking there’s someone better out there

There is so much choice today, it’s confusing and debilitating.

Part of the problem is thinking you can do better.

This will never go away so stop searching for the impossible.

Look for the good in the one you’re with right now.

Kiss the frogs

Try getting physical and see what happens: your body will tell you if it’s going to work.

One of my favourite love stories is a close friend of mine who ended up married to the guy she said she could never fancy.

She really liked him – and why wouldn’t she? He was funny, bright, creative, charming – everything she wanted.

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She dated him because she was recovering from an illness and her energy was low and he was kind.

She knew he liked her romantically and ‘tried’ for a few months to fall for him.

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“I told him it would never work and kissed him goodbye. It was the first time we’d ever kissed on the lips,” she told me.

“It turned from a goodbye kiss into a proper kiss and that was it. The minute we become physical, turned out we had bucket loads of chemistry.”

You’re an adult: stop falling for the fairy tale

Ditch the notion of old fashioned true love – that it starts with lightning bolts and fireworks and your ‘Prince Charming’ is going to tick ALL your boxes.

We’re been brainwashed.

You have to know immediately. You have to feel instant connection. You have to think they’re the most handsome person you’ve ever met. The man you’ve fancied the most in your life.

It’s utter rubbish!

Couples who say they ‘knew’ the minute they set eyes on each other forget they thought that about lots of people they dated.

Go for the qualities that really matter

Looks change as we age. Passion fades the longer you’re together.

At the end of the day, nearly all romantic relationships end up based more on friendship than anything else.

Swap ‘Who do I fancy?” for “Who do I like and admire?”

THE IMPORTANT QUESTIONS TO ASK

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Are you kind to each other? Do you make each other laugh? Do you have each other’s backs?

Are they a kind, supportive person? Do they make you happy? Do they make you feel safe?

If you were locked in a lift with them for a day how would you feel? Do you like doing the same things? Do you have the same moral code? Do your friends and families get on? Are you intellectually compatible (do you feel the same level not what education level you’ve achieved)? Do you like them? Do you find them attractive in some way? Do they ‘get’ you? Do you view the world through the same lens?

THE THINGS THAT AREN’T IMPORTANT

Are they The One? Do you have great sex? Did you know right from the start that they were The One? Do you find your partner very attractive physically? Did they sweep you off your feet? Do they make grand, romantic gestures? Do you love them more than you’ve loved anyone else in your life? Do you feel like you’ve found the fairy tale? Does everything about them seem perfect?